Toddlers Can Be Assholes (But We Love Them Anyway)
Let’s be real: toddlers can be absolute assholes. Yep, I said it. They say “no” with a passion that rivals any political debate. But guess what? We love them anyway.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in an endless cycle of a tiny, sassy version of yourself insisting on doing everything their way, you’re definitely not alone. My three-year-old is currently in the navigating her independence phase, which means she’s not just opinionated—she’s a tiny tyrant in her own right. She wants to do things her way, on her schedule, and let’s not forget, how she wants to do them.
While it can be infuriating, watching her grow into a little person with her own personality is pretty amazing. From figuring out how to put on her shoes to completing a puzzle, it’s special to see her tackle challenges, even if that means a meltdown over the color of her plate.
The Struggles Are Real
There are plenty of moments that test my patience. Like the time we were running late, and she insisted on buckling herself in the car. There I was, yelling, “Let me do it!” while she screamed, “NO! I do it!” And then there’s the classic dinner debacle, where an entire plate ended up on the floor because she simply had to have the gray plate instead of the pink one. In the heat of the moment, these scenarios can feel monumental, but stepping back, I realize she’s just learning—about choice, autonomy, and, yes, how to express her likes and dislikes.
Making This Stage More Enjoyable
So how do we, as parents, navigate this challenging yet delightful stage? Here are a few strategies that have helped me:
- Pause and Breathe: In the chaos, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that this phase won’t last forever. Taking a moment to breathe and remind myself of this helps me stay grounded. Someday, I might even miss these little power struggles!
- Offer Choices: One effective tactic is to present 2-3 options when possible. For example, on a chilly fall morning, I’ll give her two appropriate outfit choices. This way, she feels empowered to make a decision while I ensure she’s dressed for the weather.
- Embrace the Learning Process: Understand that her insistence on doing things herself is part of her development. While it might slow us down, it’s crucial for her growth.
- Find the Humor: It helps to laugh at the absurdity of some situations. A toddler throwing a tantrum over a plate color? Classic. Keeping a light-hearted attitude can ease the frustration.
- Celebrate Small Victories: Every time she accomplishes a task on her own, no matter how small, celebrate it. These moments build her confidence and remind us that she’s learning and growing.
The Takeaway
Yes, the “no’s” can be daunting. Watching her struggle with putting her shoes on the wrong feet while you’re late can test anyone’s patience. And cleaning sticky rice off the floor every night might feel like a personal vendetta from the universe. But remember, this stage is fleeting. Embrace the chaos, find joy in the little victories, and cherish these moments with your tiny, demanding bundle of joy. After all, they might be assholes, but they’re our assholes, and that’s what makes it all worthwhile.
What phase is your toddler in? How have you been handling these “fun” time?! Share what you have found to be effective/ineffective in your home!
XO
A Realistic Mom
A Mom’s Reality 